Charlotte's Web :-)

~beauty hacks and everyday living for the distinguished lady~

if you're not a distinguished lady get out thankks

chapter 156

~~~"fishing for fishies."~~~

didn't you know that the fishes say hello to you every morning? you just can't hear it because fishes don't have voice boxes like a regular old human does. so here's some

  1. simple

  2. fast

  3. and

  4. (most importantly)

  5. EASY

tips on how to get YOUR fishes talking to YOU today!


NUMERO UNO...

NAME THAT THANG!

when i tell you those fishes are picky about their names...i can't even tell you! no really. they might hear me.


not only that, most fishes will only like you if you read them the "Fishie Bible," more commonly known as Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis. in fact, some of the most freakish of fishes wont even look in your direction until you utter these key words:

ahem

"AS GREGOR SAMSA AWOKE ONE MORNING FROM UNEASY DREAMS HE FOUND HIMSELF TRANSFORMED IN HIS BED INTO A GIANT INSECT."

now if you can perform this with the most intellectual of cadences your fishie friend will, at this point, be almost ready for the elusive naming process.

oh yeah but before we continue, a word from our sponsor:

make sure to give a gracious thanks to your good friend "SAMUEL L. JACKSON" on the way out. (seriously dont forget. corporate sued us last time). in the wise words of jefferson mangum, "thanks robert." :-)